


Kise Ryouta: adj; gay

by cinematicghibli



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Stupid Boys being Stupid, Teikou Era, and she's kise's bro, aomine srsly cant tell if kise's a homo, momoi is done with their shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 14:51:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3124208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinematicghibli/pseuds/cinematicghibli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aomine knows he's attracted to Kise.</p>
<p>He also knows that Kise wears scarves, smells of Chanel n5, talks in a higher pitch than any girl there is, is often referred to as 'Satsuki's gay bestie', shops almost as much as he plays basketball, and probably wears guyliner.</p>
<p>Nah, Kise's gotta be straight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kise Ryouta: adj; gay

**Author's Note:**

> Aomine is a dense shit so I needed to highlight this because I think everybody should appreciate Aomine's intelligence.  
> And I really wanted to write gay-bestie!Kise ok

It hits Aomine halfway through practice, like a bomb has been planted and is erupting, blossoming bigger and bigger until it fills his whole brain.

He's pretty sure it's the perfume.

And god, trust that moron Kise to spread his shitty pheromones everywhere and to fuck up Aomine's thought process.

It's not like much has changed, Aomine ponders, it's just that Kise has gone from being

moron / shit / team-mate / bro

to

moron / ATTRACTIVE / shit / PRETTY / team-mate / HOT / bro / ~~FUTURE HUSBAND~~

But still, the realisation of this...crush he has on the blonde is enough to hit him so hard that Aomine swears so loudly a few first years yelp and Akashi turns round.

Shit.

What was it Akashi had said about cursing? Something about 'vulgar' and 'petty' and 'inflict punishment'?

"Daiki."

"Shit!"

Akashi sighs slowly as Aomine slaps a hand over his mouth and backs away from the redhead as he hears the pop! of Akashi's vein in his forehead.

"That's it, give me your head."

"Wait WHAT?!"

"Tilt your head down, it won't hurt."

"Hell no, I - OWW!"

Akashi grabbed a lock of dark blue hair and ripped as Aomine howled and reeled backwards.

"Shintarou, fetch me one of those voodoo dolls immediately."

"Certainly."

Aomine turned, tripped, and then bolted from the gym hall.

 

*                                *                                     *

 

Fucking Akashi! It wasn't his fault Kise had walked by and spread his shitty flower smell! God, even the uniform looked sinful on him now, with his smooth pale skin and flashing blonde hair and lean legs and flat....hard......chest....

Wait, Aomine Daiki wasn't GAY!

He like boobs! And Mai-chan!

"What the hell, I'm too tired for this shit...."

"Aominecchi!~"

Shit.

"Kise, hey, uh I gotta-"

"Aominecchi! Come play one-on-one with me! C'mon, please, I haven't played with Aominecchi all week!"

Flashing amber eyes and Cheshire cat grin, Aomine could not deal with this right now, he needed out, he needed a saviour, he needed-

"K-Kise-kun!"

Both boys turned to see a short girl around their age wearing a Teikou uniform, with short brown hair and pale pink lip gloss running towards them, cheeks red, a gift clutched in her shaking hands.

"This is for you!"

"Hanamori-san?"

"You don't need to answer right away! J-just read the letter!"

She pushed the parcel into Kise's hands, turned heel and fled.

Oh yeah.

Kise.... was clearly...

Straight.

"Man, another one? But ooh, this one has a bow and everything! A yellow one, cute!~"

Kise laughed and pulled at the ribbon, enamoured with the sparkly gift.

Man, with confessions like this, Aomine was screwed!

Kise was gonna end up with some cute girl and urghhhh.

"Awwww, she drew me a piyo-chan on the inside!"

Shitttttt

"Aominecchi? Are you ok?"

Worried eyes peered into his, Kise's face drawn with concern.

"Yeah, I just uh, gotta go! See ya moron!"

Aomine ran from the second team-mate, for the second time that week.

*                            *                                   *

The first person he told was Satsuki.

That was a mistake in itself, he reasoned afterwards.

But Satsuki and Kise were unusually close since he'd joined first string, so he needed to make sure there wasn't anything between them. Besides, Satsuki was an annoying brat a lot of the time, but she'd tell him what the fuck was going on, surely.

"You.....LIKE KISE-KUN?!"

"Aah! Not so loud, Satsuki-teme! People might hear, moron!"

"Yeah, the pigeons might eavesdrop."

They were siting on Aomine's roof, and Aomine was trying to get help from Satsuki.

Of course, she was being useless as usual. He should ask another girl.

"Man it sucks, and I don't even like guys!"

"You're Kise-sexual." Satsuki sniggered.

"Shaddap! Anyway, it's not like I can do anything."

"I can help you, Kise's my gay bestie!"

"Hah?!"

"You wanna confess, right?"

"Con- no! God, he probably goes out with pretty girls!"

"You....think Kise-kun.....is straight?!"

A mental image of Kise bouncing up to him, smelling of flowery perfume with his perfectly styled hair, singing "Aominecchi!" floated to Aomine's mind.

MAN, he had it bad.

"Duh."

Satsuki sat down with a thump, and started howling with laughter.

Aomine glared, turn round, and dashed back down the stairs.

*                      *                            *                                 

It had been a week since he'd told Satsuki.

And since then, Kise had been acting......... weird.

The day after he'd told her, Kise had come in to school wearing a pink, sequinned scarf.

That wasn't the weird bit, obviously, the weird bit was that Satsuki kept _fixing_ it and swapping......scarf tips with him.

It turned out, as Satsuki later slipped to him, it was _her_ scarf he was wearing.

Did Aomine have competition?!

It seemed so, because the day after the scarf incident, Aomine saw Kise and Satsuki walking to the _shops_ together.

And they were buying each other _clothes_.

 

Satsuki claimed Kise was giving her tips because he was her gay-bestie-WHATEVER but Aomine doubted this.

 

And today, horrors of horrors, Kise was wearing Satsuki's _perfume_.

 

How dare she, how dare she mask his amazing flowery shitty normal smell with her Chanel n5!

 

How dare Kise wear Satsuki's clothes and scent!

 

It was the last straw.

He was going to have to confer with.........Tetsu.

 

Ten minutes later, they were sitting in a small café, Kuroko looking bored and Aomine looking furious.

 

"I don't understand what the problem is, Aomine-kun."

Aomine gaped.

"The _problem_ is that Kise smells like Satsuki! And that they look like they're a couple! Stupid Satsuki, she always ruins things...."

"Aomine-kun, you're being extremely dense and it's irritating me."

"Wha!-"

"Obviously they are acting like this because, as Momoi-san has told you, he is her gay bestie."

"Kise's straight!"

"Excuse me?!"

Aomine swerved round as the café door shut, to face a horrified-looking Kise and a disgusted Satsuki.

 

"Did you just call me _straight_?!" Kise hissed, eyes narrowing.

"Wait, you mean you aren't?!"

"I WEAR PINK SCARVES WHAT DO YOU THINK?!"

"Well, I, uh-"

"Dai-chan, I told you!"

So.... Kise wasn't straight?

"Then that's great! Kise, I like you, we should fuck. Or go out. Or both."

"WHAT?!"

"I told you." Momoi said, as she sat down in Aomine's seat after Kise had dragged him outside yelling at him, bright red.

"Oh I knew."

"But how did you guess that Kise-kun was my gay bestie?"

"Well, Aomine-kun is my gay bestie. It only made sense."

Momoi shrugged, and finished the rest of Aomine's coffee.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hahaha no
> 
> im sorry
> 
> but seriously, I am 103% sure Momoi and Kise are bros.
> 
> And that Kise wears scarves.
> 
> anyway, I appreciate anybody who reads/reviews these things
> 
> srsly ily and thank


End file.
